My hand, My heart, My Valentine!

 

 

I remember you then, when we first met.

You were the boy who loved to play basketball and video games and
you were always drawing something.
 

 

 I was the awkward, shy girl with the bangs that curled under

hiding from the world and

 always trying not to be noticed.

 

But

You noticed me.

 

You wrote me notes, drew me pictures, sat by me at lunch

and made me smile

like no one else ever did.

 

January 18, 1998

Yes, I still remember the date!

We were talking on the phone and you asked me to

be "your girl" in your "cool guy"

kind of way

and I giggled and said "sure" in a shy and shocked kind of way.

 

You walked me home from school the next day and all the days after. 

 

I remember the day that you asked to hold my hand.

I didn't know how

to answer that question

so

I just gave a shy nod and you took hold of my

hand and my heart

and it's been yours ever since.

 

You rode your bike in the pouring rain

and falling snow

just

to come see me.

 

You asked me to the high school homecoming

and I was thrilled, I couldn't wait!

 

The day came and 

I was so embarrassed because I cut those

bangs of mine too short and I cried

and I remember

  you said that you had the prettiest date and

you couldn't have been more proud.

 

 

We both worked at Wendy's

in the evening's after school.

You flipping those burgers at the grill

 and me taking orders

at the register.

 

It was Valentine's Day and I bought you a card and a small gift

and

you surprised me with dinner 

and a horse & buggie ride.

I still don't know how you did it

 

and

 

I told you that you made me believe that I was the

most special girl in the world that day.

 

 "You are" you said.

 

 

It was my birthday and my whole family was there.

You spoke up, nervous boy

with something to say

and everyone hushed to hear your words.

 

You knelt on one knee

in front of the whole crowd,

all of our family and friends standing

there to witness

and my heart beating all wild 

when you took my hand in yours

and asked if I would be your wife.

 

Stunned and honored, my face blushed as red

as those roses on my dress

that day

when I said yes to you.

 

The bridal shower came and I sat in chair

with my "bride" hat on, and still with those bangs,

receiving gifts

and advice from women that I love

on how to be a good wife.

 

 

 

July 13, 2002

Stomach in knots and quivering with nerves,

I come walking down

the aisle of the church to you.

 

When I reach the front

where you are,

 

you smile

and I start to calm.

 

You hold my hand and you have my heart 

and you repeat vows to me...

 

For better, For worse,

For richer, For poorer,

In sickness and In health,

Until death do us part.

 

And I repeat them to you and they

aren't just words

but they are a

commitment to one another in this life of

marriage.

 

We stand together and light the Unity Candle

symbolizing that our 2 lives

are now 1

and this life we're living is,

it's this 1 life

that we are making

together.

 

 

 We make a home in that tiny

apartment.

I make dinner for 2 

and place

it on the small island there by the patio door

 and you take my hand in yours

like you've always done

and

we pray and eat

and so begins this unified life with you.

 

Exactly one year later

we find this house.

It's bigger than a 1 bedroom apartment

and we can't wait

to make it our home.

 

I unpack our things and

daydream about what it will be like to be parents

as you paint

the nursery "precious moment pink"

for the little one with her heart beating just under mine.

 

3 weeks later, we're parents.

 

 

We leave the hospital

after 4 days in the neonatal intensive care unit

with this beautiful 5lb bundle.

 

It feels surreal.

 

She's

our baby girl

and you're nervous

to hold her because she's so small and fragile but you do

and she settles

comfortably back to sleep in your arms.

 

Through the labor and delivery of all of our children,

you were there, at the bed side,

always praying

and holding my hand

and my heart.

 

 

You've held our babies,

fed our babies,

changed them and fathered them.

 

 

And their foot prints made instant imprints

on our hearts

in this unified life we are living.

 

 

3 daughters in a row, you living in this house full of girls

pink, princesses and everything glitter.

 

 

Then there was that day in 2008, we found out that the 4th little Neville was

on it's way.

 

We enjoyed teasing you about having another girl.

 

You said that you were a pro at reading

sonograms

and if it were a girl you would know

before the technician told us so.

 

We all laughed

and then laughed again when she announced

that it was

a ggggiiiirrr.... 

"finally a boy!"

 

 

And so...

 

with this unified life of ours complete with

"our quiver full"

of little Neville's

and all the love that comes along

with that fullness,

 

I just want to tell

you

that I'm thankful that you still hold my hand and my heart

and that 

you

are still

my

Valentine!

 

I love you Mr.Neville...Forever & Always!