Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Planting Seeds

 
 
This morning I got news that
another
cousin has passed away.
 
My heart breaks for his family
and my mind
runs with all these
questions...
 
Did I reach out enough?
Did I love enough?
 
Did he see Jesus in me??
 
I know it's a shame that it's times like this
that these questions
come running...
 
Because to be honest these are the things
that should be at the forefront of our
minds
Every Single Day.
 
I have many loved ones
and I'm sure you do too that need Jesus in their lives.
We, as the redeemed of the Lord
get the privilege
of planting seeds of hope and love
in their lives.
 
In Matthew 13 Jesus
speaks of a sower
who goes forth to sow seeds.
 
 
Verse 4 tells us that when he sowed,
some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls
 came and devoured them up.
 
We go on to read that
some fell upon stony places,
where they had not much earth: and when they sprung up,
because they had no deepness of earth:
and when the sun was up,
they were scorched;
and because they had no root, they withered away.
 
We also know that
some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them!
 
These verses let me know that
we will sow seed in some people's lives
and will not be successful.
 
Some seeds will be devoured,
some will be scorched
and even wither away.
 
Some people will continually reject and turn away
from the Gospel
and what Jesus Christ has done for us.
 
Does that mean that we
do not need to sow the seed and share the Gospel then?
 
Not At All!!!
 
Verse 8 tells us that
other seeds fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit!
 
Praise God!!
 
 
We aren't the ones who get to make the call
on where to sow seed my friend.
 
Just as the sower in the Bible,
we are to sow seed into every area (every life)
that we come in contact with.
 
So Dig In!
 
 
Put a smile on your face...
 
 
and plant into the lives of everyone around you!
 
 
We all have a work to do...
 
 
If we will each reach out and plant in the lives that are around us...
 
 
even when things look dim and maybe even a little dirty...
 
 
Plant seeds of hope,
Show the Love of Jesus,
Give Grace,
Speak of His tender mercy...
 
 
and allow God to finish the work
in their lives!
 
<3
 
Lord
I pray for every believer
today.
I pray that You give each of us
wisdom and knowledge
on how
to reach out to the people
you have placed in
our lives.
Thank You for Your
mercy
that You have shown to
us.
Help us Lord
to
deliver the truths of
Your word
with grace in ours.
Help us to show Your love
to every soul
that we come in contact with.
May they see
You
in us.
 
Amen

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

It Feels Like We're Worlds Apart

 
This morning I got up like every other morning
and started about my daily routine.
 
As the little Neville's and I
gathered in the kitchen for breakfast,
I said "who's going to pray over our food?"
 
 
Aubrey spoke up
"Don't forget to pray for Yelson!"
 
Yelson Lopez is a 4 year old little boy
who is just like any other 4 year old little boy...
only
he lives in Nicaragua.
 
Nicaragua is the second poorest country in Latin America after Haiti.
 
 
Scott and I explained to our children
that there are lots of little children who live in homes
that are much different than ours,
eat a lot less than we do and don't get as many toys,
if any at all.
 
This morning we held the picture of just
one of the precious little children who live in these conditions every day,
Yelson Antonio Martinez Lopez...
and we prayed.
 
Caitlyn began our prayer "Lord help Yelson, be with him and help him and his family..."
McKenna was next... "Lord supply Yelson's needs and his family's needs..."
Aubrey chimed in "Lord touch Yelson's world and his family"
 
Touch Yelson's world!
 
Yes Lord, touch this little boy's world!
 
 
Aubrey took one glance
at the pictures of Nicaragua and looked up at me
"Mommy, is that Yelson's world?"
 
With tears in my eyes and pain in my heart
I told her
 
"Yes, this is his world."
 
This "world" that he lives in is so much different
than ours...
 
Every day we awake to a warm cozy home, food on our table
clean clothes
and our needs are met,
 even some of our wants are given
and for that I am very thankful.

It is with humility & gratefulness that we desire to
share our blessing's with precious souls
like Yelson!
 
 
Proverbs 22:9 
He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed;
for he giveth of his bread to the poor.
 
I can tell you that when my children receive
brand new toys for Christmas,
they don't have near as much fun
playing with them alone
than when they play all together.
 
Blessings aren't meant to be held with a hand of greed
but to open our hearts
and our hands, to reach out to those
less fortunate
and share what has been given to us!
 
 
 
Mark 10:21
Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
 
 
 
 
 

Monday, September 30, 2013

The Heart of a New Homeschooling Momma

 
No one could have prepared me for what a mother
feels when she begins to homeschool
her children.
 
Kind of in the same way that no one
can prepare you for
the way your heart breaks and feels the
most joy and love it's ever felt
 <3
the moment the nurse places your brand new baby
in your arms for the first time.
 
 
 
A rush of emotions flow through you
and you feel broken and whole
at the very same time.
 
I have taught each of my children to drink from
big kid cups and eat on their own,
there were days when their little hands weren't quite steady
and the red juice was spilled
and the spaghetti was all over the place
 and there were many days that things got messy but there was
no giving up, we cleaned up to try again, we persevered.
 
I have held little hands while their feet took wobbly first steps
and I have been there to catch them should
they fall.
 
I am learning that this new adventure of homeschooling
 isn't much different.
 
We will have great days, when everyone scores
100%
things are going smoothly and we are all smiles.
 
 
 
And there will be those messy days when books are
scattered, words are misspelled
and numbers
aren't added quite right
but we
will persevere just like we always have.
 
We will love one another, encourage
one another
and most importantly pray
for one another.
 
We will learn the place value of numbers and all
about metaphors and even do some
cool science experiments
but
most importantly
we will learn
about the love of Jesus
and how to have a servant's heart.
 
 
 
Their hands may be a little more steady now
but their hearts and minds
are still growing
and I will
be here to guide and teach
as best as I can
through
yet another adventure
of life.
 
 
 
A prayer written by a homeschooling momma...
Where I fail Lord I thank You that Your wondrous grace and mercy fills in my gaps.
I praise You, that our children receive what they need in You.
Thank you that you bless our school time.
Help my children learn the skills that You need for them to learn.
The writing, reading, math, science, history,
 foreign language, art, music, etc, are all to point my children back to You.
 More than any academic knowledge Lord, help my children personally know You.
That is my goal.
In Jesus Mighty Name,
Amen.
 
 
 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

It's Just The Beginning


 
It's been quite a while since I have "blogged"....is that a word?
 
Anyway this blog will most likely be all over
the place, lots on my mind.
 
A few weeks ago we began a new journey here at the Neville house
 
HomeSchooling!
 
It has been very challenging (yes, already lol)
but also very rewarding
and it's only been almost 3 weeks.
 
I must admit that it only took me a couple of days before I thought to myself
 "what am I doing and why aren't my children in school?"
I'm just so afraid of "messing up."
 
And I can tell you that I have a new found respect for
homeschool parents!
 
It is quite a load to carry but what a beautiful load it is :)
 
 
Watching them read, work, learn and explore together
is one of the greatest joys ever!

 
 And even on the messy days
when stuff is every where and things aren't going as perfectly
as planned...


So even on the tough days,
the days that I'm not wearing my "Super Mama" gear,
I will look ahead to the purpose
and know that...


Happy HomeSchooling! :)


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My hand, My heart, My Valentine!

 
 
I remember you then, when we first met.
You were the boy who loved to play basketball and video games and
you were always drawing something.
 
 
 I was the awkward, shy girl with the bangs that curled under
hiding from the world and
 always trying not to be noticed.
 
But
You noticed me.
 
You wrote me notes, drew me pictures, sat by me at lunch
and made me smile
like no one else ever did.
 
January 18, 1998
Yes, I still remember the date!
We were talking on the phone and you asked me to
be "your girl" in your "cool guy"
kind of way
and I giggled and said "sure" in a shy and shocked kind of way.
 
You walked me home from school the next day and all the days after. 
 
I remember the day that you asked to hold my hand.
I didn't know how
to answer that question
so
I just gave a shy nod and you took hold of my
hand and my heart
and it's been yours ever since.
 
You rode your bike in the pouring rain
and falling snow
just
to come see me.
 
You asked me to the high school homecoming
and I was thrilled, I couldn't wait!
 
The day came and 
I was so embarrassed because I cut those
bangs of mine too short and I cried
and I remember
  you said that you had the prettiest date and
you couldn't have been more proud.
 
 
We both worked at Wendy's
in the evening's after school.
You flipping those burgers at the grill
 and me taking orders
at the register.
 
It was Valentine's Day and I bought you a card and a small gift
and
you surprised me with dinner 
and a horse & buggie ride.
I still don't know how you did it
 
and
 
I told you that you made me believe that I was the
most special girl in the world that day.
 
 "You are" you said.
 
 
It was my birthday and my whole family was there.
You spoke up, nervous boy
with something to say
and everyone hushed to hear your words.
 
You knelt on one knee
in front of the whole crowd,
all of our family and friends standing
there to witness
and my heart beating all wild 
when you took my hand in yours
and asked if I would be your wife.
 
Stunned and honored, my face blushed as red
as those roses on my dress
that day
when I said yes to you.
 
The bridal shower came and I sat in chair
with my "bride" hat on, and still with those bangs,
receiving gifts
and advice from women that I love
on how to be a good wife.
 
 
 
July 13, 2002
Stomach in knots and quivering with nerves,
I come walking down
the aisle of the church to you.
 
When I reach the front
where you are,
 
you smile
and I start to calm.
 
You hold my hand and you have my heart 
and you repeat vows to me...
 
For better, For worse,
For richer, For poorer,
In sickness and In health,
Until death do us part.
 
And I repeat them to you and they
aren't just words
but they are a
commitment to one another in this life of
marriage.
 
We stand together and light the Unity Candle
symbolizing that our 2 lives
are now 1
and this life we're living is,
it's this 1 life
that we are making
together.
 
 
 We make a home in that tiny
apartment.
I make dinner for 2 
and place
it on the small island there by the patio door
 and you take my hand in yours
like you've always done
and
we pray and eat
and so begins this unified life with you.
 
Exactly one year later
we find this house.
It's bigger than a 1 bedroom apartment
and we can't wait
to make it our home.
 
I unpack our things and
daydream about what it will be like to be parents
as you paint
the nursery "precious moment pink"
for the little one with her heart beating just under mine.
 
3 weeks later, we're parents.
 
 
We leave the hospital
after 4 days in the neonatal intensive care unit
with this beautiful 5lb bundle.
 
It feels surreal.
 
She's
our baby girl
and you're nervous
to hold her because she's so small and fragile but you do
and she settles
comfortably back to sleep in your arms.
 
Through the labor and delivery of all of our children,
you were there, at the bed side,
always praying
and holding my hand
and my heart.
 
 
You've held our babies,
fed our babies,
changed them and fathered them.
 
 
And their foot prints made instant imprints
on our hearts
in this unified life we are living.
 
 
3 daughters in a row, you living in this house full of girls
pink, princesses and everything glitter.
 
 
Then there was that day in 2008, we found out that the 4th little Neville was
on it's way.
 
We enjoyed teasing you about having another girl.
 
You said that you were a pro at reading
sonograms
and if it were a girl you would know
before the technician told us so.
 
We all laughed
and then laughed again when she announced
that it was
a ggggiiiirrr.... 
"finally a boy!"
 
 
And so...
 
with this unified life of ours complete with
"our quiver full"
of little Neville's
and all the love that comes along
with that fullness,
 
I just want to tell
you
that I'm thankful that you still hold my hand and my heart
and that 
you
are still
my
Valentine!
 
I love you Mr.Neville...Forever & Always!
 
 
 
 
 


Monday, January 21, 2013

Through The Pain, On To The Joy

 
I was reading a blog written by Ann Voskamp
and this particular paragraph
grasped at my heart...
 
 
Written By Ann Voskamp.....


You can have every excuse — but let nothing excuse you from joy.
Excuses to avoid community can rightly excuse you from joy.
Why is it so hard to let people love you?
How do you let imperfect love get into your imperfect places?
How many times do I have to learn it — The shields you use to protect yourself can become the bars that imprison you alone.
There’s no other way to really live. Risking pain is the only way to risk really living — and the only other option is to live safe and dead.
 
I read it again and again
and it
slowly and sort of painfully
seeped into
the deepest part of me.
Her words, they began to penetrate my heart.
 
Am I ready to feel it?
 
Joy and Pain.
 
None of us, I don't believe, would refuse to feel joy
but
she says they (joy and pain) are but two arteries of one heart
and this one heart pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living.
 
Must we risk the pain to feel the joy?
 
As I began to meditate in prayerful thoughts about this question,
my mind went directly to the man
who faced terrible pain, such agonizing pain.
 
Pain of every kind...
physical, mental and emotional.
 
He came to give us salvation and life more abundantly
but He did not escape pain!

So often in my prayer time, I find myself
explaining to the Lord why I find it so hard
to contain this joy
that His word speaks of.
 
It's at the times I find it hard to be
 vulnerable enough
to risk the pain!
 
To risk the pain of
being hurt again,
risk being mocked and made fun of
and risk others thinking that I'm not
good enough, talented enough, spiritual enough
and the list goes on and on.
 
And then I read her words....
 
Risking pain is the only way to risk really living. ~Ann Voskamp
 
and I think....
 
Jesus risked it...
 
 He risked it all for you and I, he risked everything!
 
He not only risked it
But
He took our pain upon Himself and He gave His life!
 
He felt every bit of it, from the inside, out!
 
Matthew chapter 27
says that
the people chose to have Barabbas, a murderer, released back
into society
instead of allowing Jesus
to go free!
 
They would rather have a murder roaming their streets than Jesus?!
 
He knows exactly what it's like
to feel unwanted, even hated.
 
I believe that tops every excuse that I have.

I think about all of the times I have said
"but Lord, what if they choose someone else?"
 
The crowd chose
a murderer
to walk free in His place,
 because they wanted Jesus to be crucified so badly!

He knows what it's like to have someone else
chosen instead of Him.
 
Then it says that they scourged Him!
 
I looked up the definition of scourge and it says this...
A means of inflicting severe suffering with a whip!
 
He suffered, he suffered severely!
 
In the same chapter of Matthew
it says...
 
And when they had platted a crown of thorns,
they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand:
and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him,
saying, Hail, King of the Jews!
 And they spit upon him,
and took the reed, and smote him on the head.
 
They were not only inflicting physical pain on Him
but they were
mocking Him openly,
in front of a crowd of people
causing Him to be humiliated and I'm sure He felt it....
Felt the
mental and emotional pain
as well as physical pain.
 
They spat on Him and laughed
as they mocked and
beat Him.
 
I have heard it preached many, many times about
the physical pain that He endured
for us and He surely did.

He took the sins of our world upon Himself
and suffered terribly in
our place!
 
 I don't recall ever hearing about the mental
anguish and emotional bruises that He must have felt.

I suppose
that's why I have always assumed that
He couldn't
quite understand the hurt and pain
that I have felt so many times, on the inside me.

He was Flesh.
Just like you and I!

He not only felt
the physical pain,

I believe He felt
the hurt
with every beat of His
aching heart!
 
They mocked Him, spit upon Him
and laughed at Him
while they watched Him die.


 He endured it all for you and for me!
 
As He hung between heaven and earth on an old
heavy, wooden cross...

He was
beaten and bloody, mocked & humiliated.
 
He cried out...
 
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
 
He felt forsaken.
 
His lifeless body was put into a
cold, dark tomb.
 
But...
 
I'm so glad that His journey of pain
didn't end there!
 
Matthew chapter 28
says
that as they came to look, an angel appeared and said to them
 
"Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.
 He is not here: for he is risen!"
 
He was Victorious!
and
We can be too!
 
There are times in this life that we are going to experience pain.
 
Pain of all kinds
 physical, mental and emotional.
 
Even Jesus felt the pain of this life.
 
We can take our pain to Him in prayer and not allow ourselves to be bound by it!
 
Ann's words are so true, she says that
the shields we use to protect ourselves can become the
bars that imprison us and cause us to be alone.
 
 

You can have every excuse — but let nothing excuse you from joy.
 
 
Are you ready to feel it?
 
 Joy and Pain!
 
There’s no other way to really live. Risking pain is the only way to risk really living — and the only other option is to live safe and dead. ~Ann Voskamp
 

Dear Lord
 I pray to you for every hurting heart
that may read these words.
We know that your heart was broken
and your body was beaten and crucified
 to bring us salvation and to mend our brokeness.
There are times when we feel alone,
in those times
remind us Lord that
 You said in Your word that we are never forsaken.
You are always with us.
Even in our darkest hour, You are there!
 Lord, we cannot fix our own wounds, but You can. 
You know exactly what our pain feels like, inside and out,
in every fashion, physical, mental and emotional, you have felt it all.
You are The Mender of our broken hearts
and The Healer of our pain. 
We give all of our broken pieces to You
and we can rest in the assurance of knowing
that You alone
can make
something beautiful out of each us.
You can take our pain
and give us Joy
in it's place.
You will
 give unto us beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for our mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
so that we can be used for Your glory
and the building of Your kingdom.
Amen
 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Monday, January 14, 2013

Words & Walls

 
I'm not very good at speaking words.
I get this awkward knot in my throat and my hands become
clammy as I stumble over the words
that seem to spew out of my mouth before my mind processes them.
 
I do much better at writing words.
I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I can think
about what it is I'm trying to say and I'm able to re-read
what I have written. 
If it doesn't sound just right
I can
erase and re-write it, quite simple.
 
But once you speak something, there is no erasing.
It's out there, it's so final.
 
Our words have power!
 
In the book of proverbs it says that
"death and life are in the power of the tongue."
 
We can lift someone up or tear them down with our words!
 
Written words have power also.
 
As I was reading over some of the entries in my journal from the year 2012,
 I re-visited the good and the bad times
of last year. 
I smiled as I read the happy memories
and winced at some of the
not so happy ones.
 
I re-visited the joy that I felt during the good times.
I could almost hear the laughter as I read
about birthday parties,
picnics, playdates and trips.
 
I also remembered the hurt and disappointment
that I have felt over the course
of last year
as I read through
some of the not so happy memories.
 
Words can hurt.
 
As I went to the Lord in prayer,
I asked the Lord
to help me with my words,
help me not to discourage others
and forgive me for the times that I have.
My heart has been completely shattered by words
from ones that I love
and
unfortunately, I regret to say that my words
haven't always been kind or uplifting
either.

Help us God with our words! 
 
In my prayer time tonight, the Lord spoke
in a still, small voice
 
"you have built walls."
 
As I layed on my bed, I felt a tugging at my heart.
 
 The Lord reminded me
of the
Walls of Jericho.
 
I looked it up in reference and it says this...
 
A defensive wall of the city.
 
A Defensive Wall!
 
"Yes Lord, I have built walls!"
 
I suppose I felt that I had a right to be defensive, to build these walls,
to protect my self
from hurt feelings and disappointment.
 
Oh but be careful my friends,
the enemy can be sly and we can allow ourselves
to be bound
by defense and
become busy building walls
around ourselves.
 
So busy building walls that
we aren't operating outside our own walls any longer.
We may say a word to someone in passing
but no longer
going out of our way to
speak or get involved in anything.
 
We isolate ourselves because we want to stay
protected!
We don't want to be the least bit
vulnerable,
that way we don't get hurt any more.
 
I don't know about you
but I've been there, I'm there!
 
We can no longer operate in the liberty and peace of God
when we are so bound up
in the walls that we have built for our selves.
 
The walls can be depression.
The walls can be insecurity.
The walls can be oppression.
 
They can be anything that you struggle with.
 
Don't get me wrong, we all have struggles, we're all human
and we all have what I call
"down days"
but there is a big difference in a
"down day"
and building
defensive walls!
 
Tonight on my knee's during prayer time, I had to
make a choice.
 
Do I want to continue to reside in
the walls of my defense?

or

Will I
march like the children of Israel did around those Walls of Jericho?
Will I call out His name and cry aloud
with the voice of victory
and allow
the Lord to cause my walls
to crumble?
 
When the Walls of Jericho came crashing down,
the Israelites crossed over
and possessed the land
that the Lord
had promised them!
 
I want to cross over to the promised land
and be free once again!
 
I no longer want to be isolated and bound up.
 
Will you come with me?
 
I'm ready to march, are you?
 
Will you call out to Him and allow the Lord
to cause your walls to
crumble?
 
I can see the Land of Freedom, just over the wall I've built.
Can you see it?
 
 
 
C'mon, let's live in freedom, friends!