Planting Seeds

 

 

This morning I got news that

another

cousin has passed away.

 

My heart breaks for his family

and my mind

runs with all these

questions...

 

Did I reach out enough?

Did I love enough?

 

Did he see Jesus in me??

 

I know it's a shame that it's times like this

that these questions

come running...

 

Because to be honest these are the things

that should be at the forefront of our

minds

Every Single Day.

 

I have many loved ones

and I'm sure you do too that need Jesus in their lives.

We, as the redeemed of the Lord

get the privilege

of planting seeds of hope and love

in their lives.

 

In Matthew 13 Jesus

speaks of a sower

who goes forth to sow seeds.

 

 

Verse 4 tells us that when he sowed,

some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls

 came and devoured them up.

 

We go on to read that

some fell upon stony places,

where they had not much earth: and when they sprung up,

because they had no deepness of earth:

and when the sun was up,

they were scorched;

and because they had no root, they withered away.

 

We also know that

some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them!

 

These verses let me know that

we will sow seed in some people's lives

and will not be successful.

 

Some seeds will be devoured,

some will be scorched

and even wither away.

 

Some people will continually reject and turn away

from the Gospel

and what Jesus Christ has done for us.

 

Does that mean that we

do not need to sow the seed and share the Gospel then?

 

Not At All!!!

 

Verse 8 tells us that

other seeds fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit!

 

Praise God!!

 

 

We aren't the ones who get to make the call

on where to sow seed my friend.

 

Just as the sower in the Bible,

we are to sow seed into every area (every life)

that we come in contact with.

 

So Dig In!

 

 

Put a smile on your face...

 

 

and plant into the lives of everyone around you!

 

 

We all have a work to do...

 

 

If we will each reach out and plant in the lives that are around us...

 

 

even when things look dim and maybe even a little dirty...

 

 

Plant seeds of hope,

Show the Love of Jesus,

Give Grace,

Speak of His tender mercy...

 

 

and allow God to finish the work

in their lives!

 

<3

 

Lord

I pray for every believer

today.

I pray that You give each of us

wisdom and knowledge

on how

to reach out to the people

you have placed in

our lives.

Thank You for Your

mercy

that You have shown to

us.

Help us Lord

to

deliver the truths of

Your word

with grace in ours.

Help us to show Your love

to every soul

that we come in contact with.

May they see

You

in us.

 

Amen

It Feels Like We're Worlds Apart

 

This morning I got up like every other morning

and started about my daily routine.

 

As the little Neville's and I

gathered in the kitchen for breakfast,

I said "who's going to pray over our food?"

 

 

Aubrey spoke up

"Don't forget to pray for Yelson!"

 

Yelson Lopez is a 4 year old little boy

who is just like any other 4 year old little boy...

only

he lives in Nicaragua.

 

Nicaragua is the second poorest country in Latin America after Haiti.

 

 

Scott and I explained to our children

that there are lots of little children who live in homes

that are much different than ours,

eat a lot less than we do and don't get as many toys,

if any at all.

 

This morning we held the picture of just

one of the precious little children who live in these conditions every day,

Yelson Antonio Martinez Lopez...

and we prayed.

 

Caitlyn began our prayer "Lord help Yelson, be with him and help him and his family..."

McKenna was next... "Lord supply Yelson's needs and his family's needs..."

Aubrey chimed in "Lord touch Yelson's world and his family"

 

Touch Yelson's world!

 

Yes Lord, touch this little boy's world!

 

 

Aubrey took one glance

at the pictures of Nicaragua and looked up at me

"Mommy, is that Yelson's world?"

 

With tears in my eyes and pain in my heart

I told her

 

"Yes, this is his world."

 

This "world" that he lives in is so much different

than ours...

 

Every day we awake to a warm cozy home, food on our table

clean clothes

and our needs are met,

 even some of our wants are given

and for that I am very thankful.

It is with humility & gratefulness that we desire to
share our blessing's with precious souls

like Yelson!

 

 

Proverbs 22:9 

He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed;

for he giveth of his bread to the poor.

 

I can tell you that when my children receive
brand new toys for Christmas,

they don't have near as much fun

playing with them alone

than when they play all together.

 

Blessings aren't meant to be held with a hand of greed

but to open our hearts

and our hands, to reach out to those

less fortunate

and share what has been given to us!

 

 

 

Mark 10:21

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

 

 

 

 

 

The Heart of a New Homeschooling Momma

 

No one could have prepared me for what a mother

feels when she begins to homeschool

her children.

 

Kind of in the same way that no one

can prepare you for

the way your heart breaks and feels the

most joy and love it's ever felt

 <3

the moment the nurse places your brand new baby

in your arms for the first time.

 

 

 

A rush of emotions flow through you

and you feel broken and whole

at the very same time.

 

I have taught each of my children to drink from

big kid cups and eat on their own,

there were days when their little hands weren't quite steady

and the red juice was spilled

and the spaghetti was all over the place

 and there were many days that things got messy but there was

no giving up, we cleaned up to try again, we persevered.

 

I have held little hands while their feet took wobbly first steps

and I have been there to catch them should

they fall.

 

I am learning that this new adventure of homeschooling

 isn't much different.

 

We will have great days, when everyone scores

100%

things are going smoothly and we are all smiles.

 

 

 

And there will be those messy days when books are

scattered, words are misspelled

and numbers

aren't added quite right

but we

will persevere just like we always have.

 

We will love one another, encourage

one another

and most importantly pray

for one another.

 

We will learn the place value of numbers and all

about metaphors and even do some

cool science experiments

but

most importantly

we will learn

about the love of Jesus

and how to have a servant's heart.

 

 

 

Their hands may be a little more steady now

but their hearts and minds

are still growing

and I will

be here to guide and teach

as best as I can

through

yet another adventure

of life.

 

 

 

A prayer written by a homeschooling momma...

Where I fail Lord I thank You that Your wondrous grace and mercy fills in my gaps.

I praise You, that our children receive what they need in You.

Thank you that you bless our school time.

Help my children learn the skills that You need for them to learn.

The writing, reading, math, science, history,

 foreign language, art, music, etc, are all to point my children back to You.

 More than any academic knowledge Lord, help my children personally know You.

That is my goal.

In Jesus Mighty Name,

Amen.

 

 

 

It's Just The Beginning

 

It's been quite a while since I have "blogged"....is that a word?

 

Anyway this blog will most likely be all over

the place, lots on my mind.

 

A few weeks ago we began a new journey here at the Neville house

 

HomeSchooling!

 

It has been very challenging (yes, already lol)

but also very rewarding

and it's only been almost 3 weeks.

 

I must admit that it only took me a couple of days before I thought to myself

 "what am I doing and why aren't my children in school?"

I'm just so afraid of "messing up."

 

And I can tell you that I have a new found respect for

homeschool parents!

 

It is quite a load to carry but what a beautiful load it is :)

 

 

Watching them read, work, learn and explore together

is one of the greatest joys ever!

 

 And even on the messy days
when stuff is every where and things aren't going as perfectly
as planned...

So even on the tough days,
the days that I'm not wearing my "Super Mama" gear,
I will look ahead to the purpose
and know that...

Happy HomeSchooling! :)



My hand, My heart, My Valentine!

 

 

I remember you then, when we first met.

You were the boy who loved to play basketball and video games and
you were always drawing something.
 

 

 I was the awkward, shy girl with the bangs that curled under

hiding from the world and

 always trying not to be noticed.

 

But

You noticed me.

 

You wrote me notes, drew me pictures, sat by me at lunch

and made me smile

like no one else ever did.

 

January 18, 1998

Yes, I still remember the date!

We were talking on the phone and you asked me to

be "your girl" in your "cool guy"

kind of way

and I giggled and said "sure" in a shy and shocked kind of way.

 

You walked me home from school the next day and all the days after. 

 

I remember the day that you asked to hold my hand.

I didn't know how

to answer that question

so

I just gave a shy nod and you took hold of my

hand and my heart

and it's been yours ever since.

 

You rode your bike in the pouring rain

and falling snow

just

to come see me.

 

You asked me to the high school homecoming

and I was thrilled, I couldn't wait!

 

The day came and 

I was so embarrassed because I cut those

bangs of mine too short and I cried

and I remember

  you said that you had the prettiest date and

you couldn't have been more proud.

 

 

We both worked at Wendy's

in the evening's after school.

You flipping those burgers at the grill

 and me taking orders

at the register.

 

It was Valentine's Day and I bought you a card and a small gift

and

you surprised me with dinner 

and a horse & buggie ride.

I still don't know how you did it

 

and

 

I told you that you made me believe that I was the

most special girl in the world that day.

 

 "You are" you said.

 

 

It was my birthday and my whole family was there.

You spoke up, nervous boy

with something to say

and everyone hushed to hear your words.

 

You knelt on one knee

in front of the whole crowd,

all of our family and friends standing

there to witness

and my heart beating all wild 

when you took my hand in yours

and asked if I would be your wife.

 

Stunned and honored, my face blushed as red

as those roses on my dress

that day

when I said yes to you.

 

The bridal shower came and I sat in chair

with my "bride" hat on, and still with those bangs,

receiving gifts

and advice from women that I love

on how to be a good wife.

 

 

 

July 13, 2002

Stomach in knots and quivering with nerves,

I come walking down

the aisle of the church to you.

 

When I reach the front

where you are,

 

you smile

and I start to calm.

 

You hold my hand and you have my heart 

and you repeat vows to me...

 

For better, For worse,

For richer, For poorer,

In sickness and In health,

Until death do us part.

 

And I repeat them to you and they

aren't just words

but they are a

commitment to one another in this life of

marriage.

 

We stand together and light the Unity Candle

symbolizing that our 2 lives

are now 1

and this life we're living is,

it's this 1 life

that we are making

together.

 

 

 We make a home in that tiny

apartment.

I make dinner for 2 

and place

it on the small island there by the patio door

 and you take my hand in yours

like you've always done

and

we pray and eat

and so begins this unified life with you.

 

Exactly one year later

we find this house.

It's bigger than a 1 bedroom apartment

and we can't wait

to make it our home.

 

I unpack our things and

daydream about what it will be like to be parents

as you paint

the nursery "precious moment pink"

for the little one with her heart beating just under mine.

 

3 weeks later, we're parents.

 

 

We leave the hospital

after 4 days in the neonatal intensive care unit

with this beautiful 5lb bundle.

 

It feels surreal.

 

She's

our baby girl

and you're nervous

to hold her because she's so small and fragile but you do

and she settles

comfortably back to sleep in your arms.

 

Through the labor and delivery of all of our children,

you were there, at the bed side,

always praying

and holding my hand

and my heart.

 

 

You've held our babies,

fed our babies,

changed them and fathered them.

 

 

And their foot prints made instant imprints

on our hearts

in this unified life we are living.

 

 

3 daughters in a row, you living in this house full of girls

pink, princesses and everything glitter.

 

 

Then there was that day in 2008, we found out that the 4th little Neville was

on it's way.

 

We enjoyed teasing you about having another girl.

 

You said that you were a pro at reading

sonograms

and if it were a girl you would know

before the technician told us so.

 

We all laughed

and then laughed again when she announced

that it was

a ggggiiiirrr.... 

"finally a boy!"

 

 

And so...

 

with this unified life of ours complete with

"our quiver full"

of little Neville's

and all the love that comes along

with that fullness,

 

I just want to tell

you

that I'm thankful that you still hold my hand and my heart

and that 

you

are still

my

Valentine!

 

I love you Mr.Neville...Forever & Always!

 

 

 

 

 



Through The Pain, On To The Joy

 

I was reading a blog written by Ann Voskamp

and this particular paragraph

grasped at my heart...

 

 

Written By Ann Voskamp.....

You can have every excuse — but let nothing excuse you from joy.

Excuses to avoid community can rightly excuse you from joy.

Why is it so hard to let people love you?

How do you let imperfect love get into your imperfect places?

How many times do I have to learn it — The shields you use to protect yourself can become the bars that imprison you alone.

Was I ready to feel it? Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don’t numb themselves to really living.

There’s no other way to really live. Risking pain is the only way to risk really living — and the only other option is to live safe and dead.

 

I read it again and again

and it

slowly and sort of painfully

seeped into

the deepest part of me.

Her words, they began to penetrate my heart.

 

Am I ready to feel it?

 

Joy and Pain.

 

None of us, I don't believe, would refuse to feel joy

but

she says they (joy and pain) are but two arteries of one heart

and this one heart pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living.

 

Must we risk the pain to feel the joy?

 

As I began to meditate in prayerful thoughts about this question,

my mind went directly to the man

who faced terrible pain, such agonizing pain.

 

Pain of every kind...

physical, mental and emotional.

 

He came to give us salvation and life more abundantly

but He did not escape pain!

So often in my prayer time, I find myself

explaining to the Lord why I find it so hard

to contain this joy

that His word speaks of.

 

It's at the times I find it hard to be

 vulnerable enough

to risk the pain!

 

To risk the pain of

being hurt again,

risk being mocked and made fun of

and risk others thinking that I'm not

good enough, talented enough, spiritual enough

and the list goes on and on.

 

And then I read her words....

 

Risking pain is the only way to risk really living. ~Ann Voskamp

 

and I think....

 

Jesus risked it...

 

 He risked it all for you and I, he risked everything!

 

He not only risked it

But

He took our pain upon Himself and He gave His life!

 

He felt every bit of it, from the inside, out!

 

Matthew chapter 27

says that

the people chose to have Barabbas, a murderer, released back

into society

instead of allowing Jesus

to go free!

 

They would rather have a murder roaming their streets than Jesus?!

 

He knows exactly what it's like

to feel unwanted, even hated.

 

I believe that tops every excuse that I have.

I think about all of the times I have said

"but Lord, what if they choose someone else?"

 

The crowd chose

a murderer

to walk free in His place,
 because they wanted Jesus to be crucified so badly!

He knows what it's like to have someone else

chosen instead of Him.

 

Then it says that they scourged Him!

 

I looked up the definition of scourge and it says this...

A means of inflicting severe suffering with a whip!

 

He suffered, he suffered severely!

 

In the same chapter of Matthew

it says...

 

And when they had platted a crown of thorns,

they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand:

and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him,

saying, Hail, King of the Jews!

 And they spit upon him,

and took the reed, and smote him on the head.

 

They were not only inflicting physical pain on Him

but they were

mocking Him openly,
in front of a crowd of people

causing Him to be humiliated and I'm sure He felt it....
Felt the

mental and emotional pain

as well as physical pain.

 

They spat on Him and laughed

as they mocked and

beat Him.

 

I have heard it preached many, many times about

the physical pain that He endured

for us and He surely did.

He took the sins of our world upon Himself

and suffered terribly in

our place!

 

 I don't recall ever hearing about the mental

anguish and emotional bruises that He must have felt.

I suppose

that's why I have always assumed that

He couldn't

quite understand the hurt and pain

that I have felt so many times, on the inside me.

He was Flesh.

Just like you and I!

He not only felt

the physical pain,

I believe He felt

the hurt

with every beat of His

aching heart!
 

They mocked Him, spit upon Him

and laughed at Him

while they watched Him die.



 He endured it all for you and for me!

 

As He hung between heaven and earth on an old

heavy, wooden cross...

He was

beaten and bloody, mocked & humiliated.

 

He cried out...

 

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

 

He felt forsaken.

 

His lifeless body was put into a

cold, dark tomb.

 

But...

 

I'm so glad that His journey of pain

didn't end there!

 

Matthew chapter 28

says

that as they came to look, an angel appeared and said to them

 

"Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.

 He is not here: for he is risen!"

 

He was Victorious!

and

We can be too!

 

There are times in this life that we are going to experience pain.

 

Pain of all kinds

 physical, mental and emotional.

 

Even Jesus felt the pain of this life.

 

We can take our pain to Him in prayer and not allow ourselves to be bound by it!

 

Ann's words are so true, she says that

the shields we use to protect ourselves can become the

bars that imprison us and cause us to be alone.

 

 

You can have every excuse — but let nothing excuse you from joy.

 

 

Are you ready to feel it?

 

 Joy and Pain!

 

There’s no other way to really live. Risking pain is the only way to risk really living — and the only other option is to live safe and dead. ~Ann Voskamp
 

Dear Lord

 I pray to you for every hurting heart

that may read these words.
We know that your heart was broken
and your body was beaten and crucified
 to bring us salvation and to mend our brokeness.

There are times when we feel alone,

in those times

remind us Lord that

 You said in Your word that we are never forsaken.

You are always with us.
Even in our darkest hour, You are there!

 Lord, we cannot fix our own wounds, but You can. 

You know exactly what our pain feels like, inside and out,

in every fashion, physical, mental and emotional, you have felt it all.

You are The Mender of our broken hearts

and The Healer of our pain. 
We give all of our broken pieces to You
and we can rest in the assurance of knowing
that You alone
can make
something beautiful out of each us.
You can take our pain
and give us Joy
in it's place.
You will
 give unto us beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for our mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
so that we can be used for Your glory
and the building of Your kingdom.

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words & Walls

 

I'm not very good at speaking words.

I get this awkward knot in my throat and my hands become

clammy as I stumble over the words

that seem to spew out of my mouth before my mind processes them.

 

I do much better at writing words.

I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I can think

about what it is I'm trying to say and I'm able to re-read

what I have written. 

If it doesn't sound just right

I can

erase and re-write it, quite simple.

 

But once you speak something, there is no erasing.

It's out there, it's so final.

 

Our words have power!

 

In the book of proverbs it says that

"death and life are in the power of the tongue."

 

We can lift someone up or tear them down with our words!

 

Written words have power also.

 

As I was reading over some of the entries in my journal from the year 2012,

 I re-visited the good and the bad times

of last year. 

I smiled as I read the happy memories

and winced at some of the

not so happy ones.

 

I re-visited the joy that I felt during the good times.

I could almost hear the laughter as I read

about birthday parties,

picnics, playdates and trips.

 

I also remembered the hurt and disappointment

that I have felt over the course

of last year

as I read through

some of the not so happy memories.

 

Words can hurt.

 

As I went to the Lord in prayer,

I asked the Lord

to help me with my words,

help me not to discourage others

and forgive me for the times that I have.

My heart has been completely shattered by words

from ones that I love

and

unfortunately, I regret to say that my words

haven't always been kind or uplifting

either.

Help us God with our words! 

 

In my prayer time tonight, the Lord spoke

in a still, small voice

 

"you have built walls."

 

As I layed on my bed, I felt a tugging at my heart.

 

 The Lord reminded me

of the

Walls of Jericho.

 

I looked it up in reference and it says this...

 

A defensive wall of the city.

 

A Defensive Wall!

 

"Yes Lord, I have built walls!"

 

I suppose I felt that I had a right to be defensive, to build these walls,

to protect my self

from hurt feelings and disappointment.

 

Oh but be careful my friends,

the enemy can be sly and we can allow ourselves

to be bound

by defense and

become busy building walls

around ourselves.

 

So busy building walls that

we aren't operating outside our own walls any longer.

We may say a word to someone in passing

but no longer

going out of our way to

speak or get involved in anything.

 

We isolate ourselves because we want to stay

protected!

We don't want to be the least bit

vulnerable,

that way we don't get hurt any more.

 

I don't know about you

but I've been there, I'm there!

 

We can no longer operate in the liberty and peace of God

when we are so bound up

in the walls that we have built for our selves.

 

The walls can be depression.

The walls can be insecurity.

The walls can be oppression.

 

They can be anything that you struggle with.

 

Don't get me wrong, we all have struggles, we're all human

and we all have what I call

"down days"

but there is a big difference in a

"down day"

and building

defensive walls!

 

Tonight on my knee's during prayer time, I had to

make a choice.

 

Do I want to continue to reside in

the walls of my defense?

or

Will I

march like the children of Israel did around those Walls of Jericho?

Will I call out His name and cry aloud

with the voice of victory

and allow

the Lord to cause my walls

to crumble?

 

When the Walls of Jericho came crashing down,

the Israelites crossed over

and possessed the land

that the Lord

had promised them!

 

I want to cross over to the promised land

and be free once again!

 

I no longer want to be isolated and bound up.

 

Will you come with me?

 

I'm ready to march, are you?

 

Will you call out to Him and allow the Lord

to cause your walls to

crumble?

 

I can see the Land of Freedom, just over the wall I've built.

Can you see it?

 

 

 

C'mon, let's live in freedom, friends!